A BAT IN HAND

"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."
[...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.]
(Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)

I have never been able to do things by half measures or be satisfied with second best. It is not in my nature. So after I purchased my first bat for the season ahead (the Gray Nicolls Nitro 750 Long Blade), I already started dreaming about getting at least one other bat to add to my kit.

One other? Was I going to really be able to stop at one? Who was I kidding? Certainly not my wife who helpfully asked me how many bats I would need for a season? Surely one would not be enough? (You have to love a girl with that kind of foresight!)

So keeping that helpful advice in mind, no sooner had I purchased one bat, I was already thinking about another! I momentarily flirted with the idea of maybe getting another brand like a GM as a counter point - but who was I kidding?

Last week I bought a Gray Nicolls EVO Players and for good measure, today I added the Gray Nicolls Xiphos Extreme Long Blade to the collection. I now have a complete set of paddle pops for the summer ahead. The Nitro weighs in at two pounds eight ounces. The EVO is a weighty two pounds twelve ounces and the railway sleeper look alike Xiphos weighs in at a whopping two pounds fourteen ounces.

Seriously, if you ever wanted to bludgeon someone to death, the Xiphos would be your weapon of choice. Gray Nicolls erred by not naming this instrument of destruction "The Morning Star" because just like that hideous medieval weapon, the Gray Nicolls Xiphos Extreme is down right deadly in the wrong hands. It should be put on the Weapons of Mass Destruction list.

I suppose every bloke has their reasons why they select a particular bat. Some geezers go for a bat that is used by their favourite player: I am sure that MRF sold millions of bats in India because Sachin Tendulkar, Brian Lara and Steve Waugh endorsed them.

What are my reasons for choosing a certain brand of bat? Well, Sachin Tendulkar is my favourite batsman along with Adam Gilchrist and Michael Slater from the recent past - but only Slater of this lot used Gray Nicolls - so that isn't it. No, it must be something else. Something perhaps aesthetic? Maybe something even deeper than that?

When I was growing up, Gray Nicolls seemed to be the premier brand amongst the kids I played cricket with - merely having an over sized and slightly cracked Gray Nicolls in my little hands at the crease as an eleven year old gave me instant cred. At least that is the way I felt at the time. So that preference for Gray Nicolls bats has stayed with me all through the years, to the extent that when I walk into a cricket store, my eyes only seem to see the Gray Nicolls bats. In the advertising industry they call that "top of the mind awareness" or "brand awareness", and so it has proved.

No matter what happens this summer, I certainly cannot complain about my weapons of choice. They are some of the best tools of the trade. If I cannot make any impression, it will not be because that I am lacking the right tools of the trade.

For that, I have to thank my wife for her understanding. Seriously, how many girls ask the question of their husband after they have purchased three cricket bats in less than a month: "maybe you need more - just in case?"

More next time!

Vic Nicholas
Melbourne

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